An investment banker said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on. He sold me one in the street yesterday. A man visits his bank manager and says, "How do I start a small business? What's the problem with banker jokes? Bankers don't think they're funny, normal people don't think they're jokes. The biggest joke of all? Bailed out bank Lloyds paying for sense of humour training at the Comedy School.
That's one thing money can't buy. Terms and Conditions. Style Book. Weather Forecast. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation. Sunday 22 September Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it! A mathematician, a theoretical economist, and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat who doesn't really exist in a closed room with the lights off.
The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital. The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy.
The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spends one hour looking for the black cat that doesn't exits and shouts from inside the room that he has caught it by the neck. The state takes one and gives it to someone else. The State takes both of them and gives you the milk. The State takes both of them and sells you the milk.
The State takes both of them and shoots you.
The state takes both of them, accidentally kills one and spills the milk in the sewer. You sell one and buy a bull. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures.
6 Solid Pick Up Lines To Use On An Accountant
The press dubs the affair "Cowgate". Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows. A civil engineer, a chemist and an economist are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. The civil engineer volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed. In a short time they're awakened by a knock.
It's the engineer, who says, "There's a cow in that barn. I'm a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal. The others go back to bed, but soon are awakened by another knock.
Not Your Typical CRM Consulting Firm
It's the chemist who says, "There's a pig in that barn. I'm Jewish, and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal. It's getting late, the others are very tired and soon fall asleep, Bu they're awakened by an even louder knocking. They open the door and are surprised by what they see: It's the cow and the pig!
Contact Us Today
Three economists and three mathematicians were going for a trip by train. Before the journey, the mathematicians bought 3 tickets but economists only bought one. The mathematicians were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. However, when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three economists went to the nearest toilet. The conductor, noticing that somebody was in the toilet, knocked on the door.
In reply he saw a hand with one ticket. The next day, the mathematicians decided to use the same strategy- they bought only one ticket, but economists did not buy tickets at all! When the mathematicians saw the conductor, they hid in the toilet, and when they heard knocking they handed in the ticket. They did not get it back. The economists took it and went to the other toilet.
To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs. The first replied The second answered The third New Zealander mumbled Einstein paused, and then asked, "So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year? A3: None, they're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium. The above light bulb jokes were mostly stolen from an article in The Wharton Journal , Feb.
Q: How many central bank economists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one -- he holds the light bulb and the whole earth revolves around him. It's not easy being an economist. How would you like to go through life pretending you knew what M1 was all about?
An economist is someone who doesn't know what he's talking about - and make you feel it's your fault. Bill and Boris are taking a break from a long summit, Boris says to Bill, -Bill, you know, I have a big problem I don't know what to do about. I have a hundred bodyguards and one of them is a traitor. I don't know which one. During the waning days of communism in the Soviet Union, an inspector was encharged with visiting local poultry farmers and inquiring about the amount of feed they were giving their chickens. Central planning was still in effect and each farmer was allocated 15 Rubles to spend on chicken feed.
6 Solid Pick Up Lines To Use On An Accountant - Float
One farmer very honestly answered that he spent five of the allocated 15 Rubles on chicken feed. The inspector took this to mean that the thieving farmer pocketed the other ten and promptly had him imprisoned. Hearing of this through the rumor mill, the next farmer down the road insisted that he spent all 15 Rubles on food for the chickens. The inspector saw this as a case of budget padding and the farmer as a wasteful opportunist.
He too was imprisoned.
Like a true nascent capitalist, the farmer threw his hands in the air and answered, "hey!